CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR'S

This holiday season doesn’t seem like a holiday season just yet. Christmas is just a little over a week away and I’m just not in the mood. I can’t be in Connecticut with my family. I can’t be with Mike and his family. Our relationship of nearly 8 years is, well, I can’t really say over, but it is just so very different. He says we can’t be a couple anymore. But he loves me. And I’m lonely. I miss him. But I have to prove myself to him and to myself. Maybe if I can do that…. I just don’t know. But instead of wallowing in the sadness of it all, I’m going to do something alone. I’m going on an adventure. Sure, it will just be one day in late December, but it will be my day. And then there will be celebrations later in the week with friends, and New Year’s. The turn of the year is always so nostalgic and bitter sweet. I always have such high hopes. I’ve never had that perfect night. I’ve had some close ones. But somehow they never live up to my dreams. It’s probably my own fault. I don’t plan anything. I don’t get the dress. I don’t get my hair done. I procrastinate and wait until it’s too late. But this year, like many before, I will go on my First Day Hike. I will go outside and welcome the New Year with a walk in the woods. And I’ll feel better for a little bit. I’m going to keep chin up, while looking
ahead, and keeping an eye out for things that I could trip on…eyes on the trail doesn’t mean to never look up. You are out here for a reason. Take it all in.