COVID 19

By now, I'm sure that everyone is "sick" of hearing about this virus.

I feel like everything has happened so very fast. I deal with some depression and anxiety and have just (8 months ago) suffered the loss of a relationship that I was very invested in. My life has been in turmoil; I've had to move twice, I lost my picture of the future, and I was forced to take a really hard look at myself.

While I am in therapy and have built a great team of advisers and health professionals to help me, I've been actually pretty overwhelmed and haven't taken the time to really process some of what's been happening. I've been keeping myself really busy. Sometimes too busy to reflect.

On March 9th, I spend the evening with two of my best friends. We weren't talking about Covid at all. I'm not sure if we had even heard about it yet. And then, not two weeks later, our local St. Patrick's parade is cancelled! In just two weeks I went from blissfully unaware to so aware that I considered not going to one of my best friend's house for the weekend to spend some time before she moves across the country next weekend. I almost missed being with her because I was afraid of the unknown. We've been hearing news from all over world about all this sickness, and death. We've heard  about so many cities, provenances, and even countries being on "shelter in place" restrictions. Everyone is trying to flatten the curve of the infection. And while, I'm totally on board with this "social distancing" and self quarantine, I also really worry about the effect it is going to have me and my depression and anxiety. I am so glad that it is spring time and it's light outside. I don't think I could handle being so alone and full of anxiety during the dark and cold months.

Last week, I was so stressed out that I forgot to wear green on St. Patrick's for the first day in years. And I'm part Irish.

I'm really very thankful for a friend who spend a couple of hours on the phone with me last week, "talking me down", and expressing his own fears. This virus is new. We don't know how it is going to react, we don't know how it will end, we don't know if the things we are doing are going to be enough to keep us and our loved ones healthy. All we can do is follow the guidelines, stay informed, stay at home, and be hopeful. I've talked to my friends and my team and I know this will possibly be a lonely time, but I have paint by numbers to do, books to read, a lovely deck to sit on, a bike to ride, and friends that I can call on the phone. I have this computer and this blog. I can write, I can create, I can appreciate, and I can make it through this challenge. If you have friends with mental health problems, even friends without, make sure you check in with them, text, call, video chat, Facebook, message, email. Stay connected, but stay at home.

Wishing everyone, good health and happiness.
Sharlene