unrelated napkin

Why do I have to keep on letting go?
Don't I deserve you?
After years of unwilling waiting..
will you ever see me for who I am..
yours

Everywhere

You were everywhere and no where
in the corner of my eye I saw your signature cap
but when I turned it wasn't you
and then I heard you call my name
but from where?
I could not see you
Somone nearby told a story
I swore you'd told it to me before
but it wasn't you
and they didn't know of you
someone called your name
as though you'd just arrived
but he wasn't you
not a common name but my ears are trained to hear it
and then your cologne
yes I smell you but you again my eyes can't find you
my eyes, my ears, my nose
all wanting the familiarity that is you
my skin aches for your touch
my mouth waters
thinking of you and your salty sweet taste
my body aches for you
and imagines you everywhere and nowhere
all at once


(from actual bar napkins.. and totally my personal property, all rights reserved)

My lonely ache.

it's happening again
that tick, tick, tick
that incessant buzzing in my ears
the chore of catching my breath
the rapid heart beat
the necessary cough to make my lungs take in some air
I'm dizzy and faint
and nauseous and angry
my head is hurting
but no one seems to notice me
none seem to care
my feet feel like bricks
my legs ache in pain
suddenly I collapse
a scared little heap on the floor
and they all just walk on by
my invisible pain
my intolerable existence
my lonely ache

Summer Love

I was only temporary, you met me at the general store, while I was waiting for my daddy. He was buying bait cause the rain didn't come and the worms didn't surface. You admired my fishing pole and I admired your eyes: like stars in a deep dark night. Daddy saw the look I gave you as we drove away and he knew. Oh Daddy always knows - you would be showing up on my front steps telling me the fish were jumping and off we'd go. Afternoons spent in your canoe, pretending to fish, but really you were baiting my hook and I was falling in love. Summer seemed to last forever and we only caught two dinners. You and I were too intense to fish. And then the season waned and you went off to school and I nursed a sunburn and a broken heart. I will never forget days on the lake, kisses in full sunshine and secrets in the dark.

For Kiran

you talk too much
listening is an act
what someone says is usually half of what they mean
only poets can express a paragraph in a word
normal people need a disertation
but the majority have a false sense of authority
in the words they spew
only with with true appreciation of language know a word
a single can tell a story
for an example
UNHOLY

thought for the day

All you wanna talk about is mistakes you made why not talk about what makes you the person you are: lessons learned

you

not a day goes by that I don't think of you
not a single day
and I find myself wondering
do you think of me too
but I can't ask you
I don't want to expose myself
one day this shell will crack
and I hope it is on the one day that I don't think of you